What I lacked in content last week will now be made up for this week.
On Monday a new family member flew into the world. My brother, being a bundle of nerves and questionable motions at even the best of times posted a quick selfie of him looking nonchalant with poor Tasha in the background riding the tugboat of pregnancy into the jagged rocks of contraction island. At first I laughed, but then I got concerned because that was definitely the face of pain and she was obviously having a very difficult time.
It’s so strange how childbirth can vary from person to person in such extreme ways. For example, a girl I was friends with in my early twenties would literally be like “OH! Time to birth a child!” And then go to the hospital and emerge half a dozen hours later with a baby in her arms no worse for wear. I think it was very similar for the birth of my brother’s other two children. A wham bam thank you ma’am kind of scenario. My spirit leaves my body the morning after Taco Time. That’s like 5 tacos on a good run. A baby is at least 15 tacos clumped together and that is horrifying to me.
Anyway congratulations Jonathan and Tasha especially for birthing this cute baby!
In other news, I decided to dye my hair, and since I’m trying the natural route of things, this meant HENNA!
I have a love/hate relationship with Lush. It’s really gimmicky and expensive, but you betcha that when I’m within a city block of a store my nostrils wildly flare and the endorphins in my brain react violently as if I hit the motherlode of all cocaine mines. (You mine cocaine, right?) I then have 50 seconds to squeegee my flesh across their glass storefront and touch a piece of soap or I DIE. It’s awful. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Anyway, long story short, application was like smearing cow shit on my head and I don’t care what anyone says – IT’S IS NOT AN EARTHY SMELL. It has been a full week and I am still getting whiffs of it every once in a while. Could be worse though and at least it isn’t that dank egg-y perm smell.
My hair was bright orange the first few days while everything oxidized or whatever it does and now it’s a pretty copper color which I actually really like. I also like how nice my hair feels after doing it. I don’t know about anybody else, but I’ve started getting really weird wire-y black hairs (are they precursors to grey hair?) and it takes a lot out of me to refrain from plucking them. The henna helped cover and mask them in better so I don’t pick myself bald.
The grocery store had a SALMON SALE, so that’s what’s on the menu tonight. I’m writing this while cooking it, but I think it’s done so BYE.