Some people get down and out when summer turns to fall and the days shorten into bleak slivers of sunlight that faintly illuminate the corpses of the past season’s spoils of carnations or whatever the hell else dies after growing season. I on the other hand like to be a special snowflake and lose my collective pile of shit early in the year and just in time for t-shirt weather.
The last few weeks have sucked. From entertaining extremely difficult people, to falling off my diet and having the effects of eating crap food literally ramrod my innards into a mush. Mood swings and back pain. Dragging myself into work and treating every encounter with caution and kid-gloves because the tight elastics under my skin are already begging to snap and all its gonna take is one wrong thing to set off that huge stack of anguish dominoes.
Maybe I should keep a handful of cheap firecrackers in each of my pockets to use in case of a complete mental breakdown. If there’s no going back, I at least want some shitty pyrotechnics to dazzle my defeated ass.
This all will pass of course. I’ve done this song and dance for a very long time and so I know what I’m capable of and when I need to take it easy. Last Sunday was definitely one of those days for peaceful reflection and bad Netflix. It helped.
Soon I’ll be back to my old self. I admittedly have a few more pieces to stick back together this time, but it’s all doable and I am thankful that these moods hit me hard and fast instead of long and drawn out. I just have to keep reminding myself of all the great stuff I have going on right now, or to look forward to in the not so far off future.