1.) I have visual snow and can’t see in the dark very well because of it. Picture seeing an image through an overlay of TV static and that’s how I view the world. I didn’t even know that this was a unique thing until well into my twenties. I don’t think it’s really hindered me in any way other than “night blindness” though!
2.) I never graduated high school. Those years were tough on me and with the exception of one teacher who really pushed my creativity (and let me basically live in the media room) I was considered a lost cause and to quote a particular guidance counselor “a headcase” (YOU’RE BAD AT YOUR JOB). This didn’t stop me from graduating college a few years later with a goddamn gold sash of excellence though!
3.) I’m terrified of monkeys. I can handle snakes and spiders but holy shit, I swear to god that primates are literally demons in the flesh.
4.) I’m an admittedly shitty cook and can’t even bake a frozen Pillsbury cookie which is a dang shame considering my pedigree lineage of artisan bakers.
5.) My favorite food is any and all seafood except muscles which for whatever reason cause me severe intestinal distress. Every few years I like to make a spectacle of myself by seeing if I still get sick from them and then being banned from Applebee’s for destroying their restroom facilities.
6.) My favorite color is either green or orange. Today it’s orange.
7.) I think that anyone who can french braid their own hair is a witch.
8.) I suspect that my twilight years in life will be spent as either a bag lady or an old spinster bogged down by the weight of 27 cats. I am surprisingly okay with both.
9.) Kellan and I celebrated our 9th anniversary this year thanks to old Hungarian witchcraft. We still have no plans for marriage, babies, or responsibility. Every year during the strawberry moon I feed him a sacred noodle dish containing my hair and some other magical herbs. This placates him into enduring another trip around the sun with me. Yay!
10.) I like birds, a lot. When I die, all my money and worldly possessions is willed to go to the Alberta Birds of Prey Center in Coaldale. What owls are going to do with heirloom tea cups and an ottoman is anyone’s guess but whatever, I’ll be dead!